Tips for Victims

The cost of contact
If the stalker calls you repeatedly and you finally pick up the phone after the twentieth message, the stalker has learned that the cost of gaining access to you is twenty phone calls. Changing your telephone number only frustrates and angers the stalker; it does not make him stop. He will find other ways to gain access to you or find out your new number. The stalker may perceive your avoidance tactics as you attempting to "win," which is something the stalker cannot abide.  Instead, it is recommended you keep your same phone number, add an extra phone line, and only give the new number to trusted people who need to contact you. The stalker can continue to call the old number and leave messages (and evidence); you can turn off the volume and check for messages periodically. Meanwhile, the stalker does not know you have changed your telephone number and does not know to search for another way to contact you.     

Document, document, document
Often, the stalking will continue throughout the criminal investigation and actual prosecution of the case. A stalking victim is the most knowledgeable and important witness in a stalking case and the best source of information for law enforcement and prosecutors. Keep a "diary of stalking events," including:

• details of incidents (who, what, when, where, and how)
• names, addresses, and telephone numbers of witnesses
• record all telephone conversations and messages
• document telephone numbers on caller id system; photograph caller id displays
• collect and save letters, emails, text messages, and objects sent / left by the stalker
• document when police were called, names of responding officers; try to obtain copies of the incident reports.

Create a paper trail
File police reports when followed or harassed.  Louisiana law requires a pattern of harassment to be established for a stalking charge.  Police reports are an excellent way to establish or verify a pattern.  Calling the police each time also alerts them to the stalker's persistence.  

Use restraining orders with caution
Restraining and Protective Orders work, but only to a certain extent.  Many stalkers do not care about the consequences of their stalking behavior. Sometimes, court orders to stay away from his victim will only enrage the stalker because he perceives this as his victim "winning," "upping the ante," or trying to control him. The desire to have control and power over his victim is a driving force behind a relationship stalker.  You should consider the possibility of the stalker initiating or increasing his violence when deciding whether to pursue a stay-away order.  However, keep in mind that these types of orders help form a paper trail on the stalker and may increase his chances of a conviction or a more severe sentence.  The police can arrest the stalker for a single protective order violation, as opposed to establishing a pattern for a stalking arrest.

Tell everyone
Predators such as stalkers count on their victims being too ashamed, intimidated, or afraid to report the crime. They thrive on secrecy and are often very good at portraying two different people: stalker/abuser in private and super-parent/employee of the month in public.  Tell your family, neighbors, landlords, children's teachers, supervisors and co-workers, building security, law enforcement, etc. The more people who know, the less likely it is the stalker will be able to gain access to you and your children. 

Threats vs. Intimidation
Threats are different than intimidation.  Intimidation usually carries a condition with it because the stalker wants you to give him a way out.  For example, a stalker might say, "If you testify against me, I don't know what could happen to you" (don't testify against me), or "If you leave me, you'll be sorry" (don't leave me). Threats are a more serious form of communication that convey intent:  "I am going to kill you," or "You left me. If I can't have you no-one can." However, what is said is less important than how it is delivered. Many people say they want to kill someone but never act on that impulse. Yet a simple statement made by a stalker to his victim (or an object left for the victim), which may appear idle or harmless on the surface, may mean much more to the victim (such as a voice message from the stalker saying, "Hi.  I'm back," or an old Valentine's card from the victim to the stalker suddenly appearing on her windshield).  Threats should be assessed not only by their content, but also by their context.  Threats made earlier in a stalking pattern are more likely to be emotional responses than threats made later, which may indicate a decision to use violence. A stalker's threat of suicide should be taken very seriously, since many stalkers who threaten or fantasize about suicide include homicide in their plans.

Safety vs. Justice
Your primary concern, especially if the stalker has threatened suicide and/or homicide, is the safety of you and your children. The criminal justice system will handle the rest. You may or may not be pleased with the criminal court results in your case, but you will have done your best to survive. Some safety measures include:

• never be alone with the stalker (especially during custody exchanges)
• resist the urge to return any form of contact (both verbal and nonverbal communications)
• carry copies of all court documents/orders and a photograph of the stalker
• inform police of your fear and ask them to increase patrols near your home and work; provide them with a photograph of the stalker; tell them if you know the stalker owns or has access to weapons such as knives and guns
• notify the stalker's supervisor of the stalking behavior and your fear; document this
• meet with an investigator or victim advocate; keep them apprised of your documentation efforts and case updates
• develop a safety plan for you and your children
• park in an enclosed garage without windows
• if possible, move to an undisclosed location
• if possible, change your name and social security number
• alert your employer, company security, neighbors, and your children's schools; provide them with a photograph of the stalker and create a safety plan
• have co-workers screen all calls and visitors
• have your name removed from reserved parking; park as closely to your home and office as possible
• add a second, private telephone line the stalker does not know about; list this under another name
• change all utilities and bills to a new name, one the stalker would not likely guess
• block your address at the DMV and Registrar of Voters offices
• have your mail forwarded to a P.O. box rather than delivered to your home; put this address on your checks and do not list a telephone number
• do not follow a predictable routine or driving pattern
• have a cell phone available at all times; teach your children how to use it
• use caution on the Internet
• only accept packages you personally ordered
• shred/destroy discarded mail; discard mail at another location, such as work
• take extra precautions on "trigger" days surrounding important dates such as birthdays (you, children, stalker), holidays, and anniversaries (first date, wedding, divorce, death of loved one)

Information excerpted from The Gift of Fear and various other sources. These tips are intended as helpful suggestions for victims of relationship stalking but should not be the only factors considered. Stalking victims are encouraged to take all available precautions to secure their safety. 

District Attorney's No Drop Policy for Victims

It is the policy of the First Judicial District Attorney's office not to accept an affidavit from a crime victim wishing to drop charges against a defendant.  Regardless of who initially contacted law enforcement, the case is now being prosecuted by the First Judicial District Attorney's office on behalf of the State of Louisiana.

The District Attorney and Assistant District Attorneys are sworn to uphold the laws of the State of Louisiana and to protect the public, including crime victims and witnesses.  Decisions regarding pending cases in the First Judicial District Attorney's office, including whether to proceed with charges against a defendant, rest solely with the prosecutors of this office.

A defendant, his/her family members, or his/her representative wishing to obtain information concerning the status of a case should contact the defense attorney. If a defendant cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed in court.

If you have been summoned to court by the First Judicial District Attorney's office, you must attend unless specifically notified otherwise.

Spousal Witness Privilege

In a criminal case or in commitment or interdiction proceedings, a witness spouse has a privilege not to testify against the other spouse.  This privilege terminates up on the annulment of the marriage, legal separation, or divorce of the spouse. This privilege does not apply in a criminal case in which one spouse is charged with a crime against the person of the other spouse or a crime against the person of a child including but not limited to the violation of a preliminary or permanent injunction or protective order and violations of R.S. 14:79.

— Louisiana C.E. Art. 505